Becoming the Woman I needed as a Girl.
Have you ever had a dream inside of you, so big and powerful that you just couldn’t deny it?
No matter how big your fear got, or how many times you told yourself, no, not now, you’re not ready, the dream just wouldn’t go away? Yeah? Me too. That is my dream of writing. I’ve been writing since childhood. It was how I processed emotions, expressed my feelings and channeled my creativity. As adulthood and life took over, I wrote less and less. Writing helped me to make sense of the madness that lived in my head. It allowed me the space to speak without judgement, create without limits and face my own truth honestly and openly. Being able to share my stories and insights to the page kept me sane. Today is a beginning, a real live birth of something I’ve wanted for a very long time. Thank you for showing up and sharing this journey with me!
Getting to this place of owning my dream and working to make it happen has been a process. The last few years have been really challenging and I’ve struggled to find my footing and my passion. Through my coaching practice and the work I do with Pace Center for Girls, I was reminded that our stories hold wisdom and guidance to others walking a similar path. Publicly sharing my experiences and what I’ve learned along the way can be a light for someone else in their own darkness. My mantra is “Be the woman I needed as a girl.” So I ask, what would she do? The thought of getting vulnerable and really sharing my story and all that goes into it is a little terrifying. It’s also incredibly exciting. This is how my passion for writing began to re-awaken and the seed was planted.
So there I sat, dream in hand, ready to put a plan together. Let’s do this! Super excited, armed with passion and determination, I sat down to make a plan and guess who shows up at the table? False Events Appearing Real, Forget Everything and Run, or my personal favorite, Face Everything and Rise… FEAR! It’s a simple little word, but we give it so much power. In the past, fear kept me smack in the middle of my soft, cozy comfort zone. Fear would show up as the nagging voice of my inner critic. I call her Lucy, and she never shuts up! What if they don’t like what you have to say? What if they think you’re wrong? Blah, blah, blah, on and on. You get it, we’ve all been there. I knew that the only way past my fear was to go right through it.
First things first, I made a decision and I didn’t give myself a choice. What I wanted to do, became what I MUST do. I set a deadline and I made a commitment. The fear didn’t go away, but I stopped letting it be in charge. Anytime we’re challenging ourselves, fear will always be there lurking, waiting to pounce! It’s actually a great friend to have around, as its primary purpose is to keep us safe and prevent us from doing stupid shit. And while I appreciate the concern, fear doesn’t care if you’re fulfilled or happy, and I want both.
My next step was to determine exactly what this goal looked like and felt like. I had a heart to heart (always ask your heart, she knows the way!) with myself and got very clear on what I wanted and why I wanted it. Clarity is power and if you don’t know where you’re going, all of the roads will get you there. They will also get you nowhere. Once you know where you want to go, you need to be honest about where you are. This often requires some harsh honesty with yourself. Don’t allow where you’re at to discourage you from where you want to go, regardless of the gap between the two. Every great journey begins someplace, the key is just to get started.
As you’re planning your journey, ask yourself some real questions. How big is the gap between where you are and your goal? Are there hurdles (There’s always hurdles, anticipate them!)? What will you do with those hurdles? Are you really willing to do what it is going to take to make that dream come true? (the answer to this question is an absolute YES!!!) This is where you COMMIT. And when I say commit, I mean 100%. Own that this is who you want to be and you will stop at nothing to make it happen. Make your goal an absolute MUST and don’t allow anyone to tell you it can’t be done. Look in the mirror and remember who you are (spoiler alert, you’re a Warrior!) As soon as you make that decision and set that goal, take action. Not tomorrow or next week or when the moon is full in Capricorn and Mercury isn’t in retrograde, do it NOW. One step, it can be a baby one, but take a step forward and GO! Don’t pause, don’t wait, just go! Hesitating will only give your brain time to create excuses, stories, and doubts, and once you’re in your head, you’re dead.
After you take that first step, celebrate! This is super important! We often make the mistake of waiting until we hit that elusive goal to celebrate success. The journey is where the magic lives, not in the destination. Don’t wait to celebrate yourself! Every step that you take along the journey to your heart’s deepest desire deserves a high five to yourself. Celebrate often and find the beauty and joy in your journey.
Facing fear can be tricky and it requires deep empathy and compassion for yourself. You may take two steps forward and then one giant step back. That’s okay. What do you need to do to get moving again? The process isn’t linear, it’s a dance and it requires a lot of room to move around. Don’t beat yourself up if you have to make a shift or even start over. Often when we’re really struggling, our natural response is just to push harder. That’s not always the best strategy. You’ve set a goal and you have a plan, but don’t forget to check in with yourself along the way. Circumstances change, stay alert. It’s important to step back, re-evaluate and recalibrate when needed. Keep your eyes on the prize, but remain flexible in how you get there. Just don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. You’ve got this!!
Getting to where I am in my life has taken courage, it’s taken drive and determination. It’s taken a lot of love and compassion. Every time I have felt lost, it’s been because I stopped listening to my intuition and I stopped trusting myself. I have realized that even in moments of all-consuming darkness that, within me, is the power to turn on my own light and I know that my intuition is my greatest superpower. When you listen to our inner guidance system, you will find the answers that you seek.
Look within yourself first, that’s where the magic lives. When you dig deep and align with your true center, your inner warrior wakes up. It can be hard to hear her at first, you have to really listen for it. It often begins as a small, faint whisper. It’s that little voice that starts off by telling you not to give up, she grows to tell you to stand, to take a step, and then another and another. It grows to the deafening roar of your inner warrior leading you to a depth deep within that you didn’t know you had, a strength that has laid dormant until now. A fierce warrior determined not only to survive this but to rise from the ashes like the beautiful phoenix that you are. Listen for it, it’s there. Focus and believe. Believe in yourself and all that you are. You have what it takes, you had it all along. Set it free and allow it to guide you. Don’t be afraid beautiful girl. You were built for this!
What is the dream that you’ve been sitting on? When would (NOW) be a good time to bring it to life? What is one step that you can take today to start the process?